Happy kids are truly an outcome of a happy family, happy childhood and happy parents. Ask a parent that what they want for their children? And 90% would say they just want their kids to be happy. And the other answers would be a confident child, a smart child or an intelligent one. The happiness is the highest state of contentment of a human mind.
When we feel associated, contented, accomplished. Researchers have proved that, on an average, Happy kids are more successful in life than the unhappier ones. They are the ones less prone to depression, anxiety, failed careers and divorces in the later stages of life.
For this, many common questions will arise in every parent’s mind. Like what are the essentials to raise a happy child? From where does happiness come? How to attain a happy state? And how to ensure that it sustains in your child’s life?
When are the kids happy?
According to Wikipedia’s definition of Happiness,” it is a mental or emotional state of well-being which can be defined by, among others, positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.”
Kids feel happy when they are contented. But the state of contentment changes with age and time. Like for an infant, the definition of happiness is a sound sleep, a full tummy and some play time. As the child grows to a toddler, the happiness terms change to an outing, some interactive toys and a group of friends. And for an older child, it may be some achievement or excelling in studies, or it could be the little satisfactory smile from their parents. Happiness is a relative term.
How to make happy kids?
There are a lot of methods to bring up happy kids. In fact, it is an everyday practice for a parent to raise a happy child. Some of the most natural things you can include in your daily life to teach happiness as a forever part of your kid’s life can be:
1. A happier you
Yes, you read it right, this is the first thing your children want from you – A happy parent. In our everyday fast running life, amid of the daily chores and stressful situations, in the context of making everyone in our family happy, parents usually forget to make themselves happy. They sometimes put their happiness aside and stay busy with day to day life of fulfilling the needs of everyone in the family.
But this is not at all the practical and constructive approach to good parenting. All you need for this is to make some time for yourself and do the things which make “YOU” happy. This ultimately leads to a calm state of mind and thus enables you to deal with even the most impatient situations, and kids learn “self-love” by watching their parents only. Do this practice regularly and on priority, as a happy parent ultimately means happy kids.
2. Spend “Quality” time with your children
It doesn’t matter whether you are spending 4 hours with your kids unless you are providing them undivided attention. The quality time means to give all your attention whenever you sit with your children. You must not use any distractions like cell phones, magazines, newspapers or household chores while spending time with your child.
The disturbances can lead to a feeling of unworthiness in your otherwise happy kids. In a way, you can spend a few minutes of the day with your child, but that must be productive few minutes. They should be worthy and add value to your child’s life in a positive manner.
3. Have more of family time and celebrations together.
Happy families who spend time together leads to confident and cheerful grown-ups. A dinner together can be an unsaid ritual in the family. A weekend trip, visiting parks or some leisure places. Celebrating the success, birthdays, achievements and festivals together leads to strong family bonds and emotionally stronger youth.
4. Encourage the efforts, not the achievements
Parents who mainly focus on the achieving success sometimes tend to bring up overly stressed children which are not at all a good sign for the psychological development of the child. According to research studies, the children focussing on efforts tend to attain much more success in the later on stages of life than the ones aiming for only achieving the goals.
5. A proper sleeping routine does wonder
A sound and consistent sleep lead to healthy and happy kids. An adequate sleeping routine depending on the number of hours needed for rest according to the age group of the child is a must. The children who take proper sleep every day are calmer and less cranky. The children who receive enough sleep are more creative and are really happy kids.
6. More outdoor activities and less indoor ones
The unstructured play, interaction with other children, doing physical activities and playing in the greener areas with fresh air plays a significant role in enhancing the child’s emotional, physical, mental as well as social prosperousness. Whereas twenty-first-century parents and children are more indulgent in the digital devices.
Be it cell phones, tablets, video games, PlayStation, TV, etc.; all are creating an adverse effect on the overall growth of children. Many studies have shown that overexposure to digital devices increases the psychological problems in the child, like showing outrageous behavior, rage and being furious very often. So to raise happy kids, indulge them more into outdoor playtime.
7. Positive thinking is the key
Everyone faces difficult times at some point in their life, and it is needed to teach your kids about this reality of life, and more important is how to get them ready to face that situation with positivity. Of course, positive thinking is the best way to keep the life going, no matter what comes next and is essential for raising happy kids.
8. Never yell at the child
We parents have to agree that even if we don’t ever want to shout at our children, we also lose our patience in terrible days. But yelling at the children is never a solution to anything. It instead leads to insecure and worried individuals and in some cases, children become stubborn and rebellious if the parent has a habit to do so again and again. In this case, you have to practice more emotional balance for yourself.
When it starts getting on your nerves, get away from the situation and have a glass of water before you get out your anger or take a few minutes away from the child to understand the situation and react in a best possible way. Talking to the child in a comforting way lets you know about the child’s feelings, and meanwhile, you can also teach the child about behaving correctly. But instead of the hostile environment, polite one works and leads to happy kids after all.
When are the kids angry in general?
Most of the kids get angry due to some similar type of situations like:
1. When things are not happening as they like it
Children usually get irritated if things don’t go their way. As a 3-year-old can burst out his frustration just as soon as his block tower fall. Sometimes children don’t understand why did it happen at all and suddenly break out at the change in their status quo.
2. Getting tired or sleepy
Most children who are very active otherwise usually get cranky at times they feel exhausted. At those times they just couldn’t make up their mind to stop play or doing the particular activity they are into it, but at the same time, their body is feeling tired. In that situation, because of the fight between their body and mind, and lack of understanding of why all this is happening, generally happy kids get very angry.
3. Being frustrated with someone or something
Sometimes due to the presence of new people at your place or you visiting someone’s area can make them angry. At times, children don’t like someone pulling their cheeks or kissing them without their permission, and they can get irritated by their activities. Or mere a ball not getting into the ring can enrage them.
4. When they are not able to express themselves properly
Sometimes, happy kids are not much expressive about their negative feelings, or they are not able to reflect them properly. In such cases, not able to vent out their feelings can make them furious too.
5. Not getting what they want at that time
A child always desires to get what they want immediately. That’s because they are “a child.” Anger and rage is just their way of telling parents that they just want that thing anyhow.
Although anger is just a feeling of happiness, then it needs to vent out properly. You can talk to your children in those situations and tell them what they are feeling. As for a child getting angry for not getting that toy they demanded in the toy store you can say “ I understand you are very angry for not getting that toy, but you already have a, b, c, etc. toys at home, for now, you can play with them.”
All of us, “The Parents” just strive to raise happy children and try to fulfill all their demands, but fulfilling needs is not the solution, but proper balancing is. Creating happiness in a child’s life is not a day or month’s task, in fact, is a totality of parenting. A happy parent and a happy family is secret of a happy child, and your first duty is to work towards that. Cater to your needs too while keeping your child’s needs in mind also.
Happy kids are an outcome of a happy family and raising happy kids is the best thing we can do for the coming generation.